Ximar

at the media center where i work, we have:
dan h. and dan s.
jen k. and jen l.
sarah c. and sarah s.
mike f. and mike m.
so, it gets kind of confusing sometimes especially when both sarahs work the same shift. but apparently, richard likes it that way. he said he's gonna try to hire only twins ( meaning ppl with same names ) next year, just to see how much fun we'll have. i don't think it'll be mighty hard to do, considering the number of applications we get each semester. and i'll definitely be happy if there's another nik ( not nick, mind you ) out there.

i'm back to wearing socks in my own room. poor, poor me...

we just had our house meeting. our house manager, huma, decided that by next week, everyone needs to get their country's flag about the size of the one in my room to decorate the walls in the house. hehehe.. i tried to convince her to let me hang the flag outside in front of the door, but she wouldn't let me. since they took down the american flag because of all this war on iraq thing, i thought i might as well put up the malaysian flag. but what i got was, " hell, no. i'm not gonna let you put that up outside.." oh, well. we decided that we are going to go to the factory of terror on october 20th and to new york sometime in november, maybe the 11th. i hope nothing comes up to make us change our plan.

fuh.. huma changed the meeting date and time just 2 minutes before we were supposed to meet. it didn't really matter though, 'coz i already sent the Q'naire to usman. n'way, now that i finally got that off my mind, i should be able to concentrate on studying for the exams. huma said i can come with her to pakistan later this year. interesting...

the icc is meeting again tonight, but i have yet to finish the questionnaire that usman asked me to make. i hope diah will send out a reminder about the meeting, because i forgot what time we are supposed to meet. amir promised to give me a copy of the flash presentation that they made. i cannot wait to see it. then i am going to go all out to make people aware of the project we are doing.

i think in general, i am a good listener. someone might want to contradict my claim, but that is just how i see myself most of the times. although, i am not really the person you want to chat online with. i hate it when people do not even make an effort to show that they are listening whenever someone else is talking, what more if it is me who is doing the talking. or when the professor is trying to start the class and some people just cannot stop talking and whispering ( more annoying if they are sitting in the front row ).

Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:

1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world

6.
How cute they are when they eat

7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while

8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear

10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth

11.
How cute they are when they argue

12.
The way her hand always finds yours

13.
The way they smile

14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the call ID
after you just had a big fight

15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....

16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them

17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"

18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...

19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry

20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly

21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt

22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!

23.
The way they say
"I miss you"

24.
The way you miss them

25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.

*

an excerpt of an email i got from a friend
someone should do a poll to see how true this is.

it was a nice day indeed.

i do not like the weather today. it has been drizzling since morning and the haze is so thick i cannot even see the prudential from across the river. well, they say tomorrow ( i should say today, but hey ) will be a nice day. it better be. i am keeping my fingers crossed.

while all alone i thought of you and wept
and in my sorrow did a vigil keep.
you promised to be faithful to the end,
but when you had my heart, you broke the vow.
i loved you in all childish innocence;
kill not that love, for i am learning now.

from "the tale of the second lady"
of "the arabian nights"

i think i am going to be down with cold in a couple of days. seems like i cannot stop sneezing now. serves me right for not taking my supplements. this is not really a good time to get sick actually, first midterm is coming up next week. ( reem says, "how come we are both sick at the same time? this cannot be good.. )

NUR KASIH
(Inteam)

Bagaikan permata di celahan kaca
kerdipnya sukar tuk dibezakan
Kepada-Mu Tuhan ku pasrah harapan
Moga tak tersalah pilihan

Nur Kasih-Mu mendamai di kalbu
Jernih setulus tadahan doaku
Rahmati daku dan permintaanku
Untuk bertemu di dalam restu

C/O
Kurniakan daku serikandi
Penyejuk di mata penawar di hati
Di dunia dialah penyeri
Di syurga menanti dia bidadari
Kekasih sejati teman yang berbudi
Kasihnya bukan keterpaksaan
Bukan jua kerana dunia
Mekar hidup disiram Nur Kasih

(Doa)
Ya Allah kurniakanlah kami isteri dan zuriat yang soleh
Sebagai penyejuk mata penawar dihati

Ulang C/O

Di tangan-Mu Tuhan ku sandar impian
Penentu jodoh pertemuan
Seandai dirinya tercipta untukku
Rela-ku menjadi miliknya

Kurniakan daku serikandi
Penyejuk di mata penawar di hati
Di dunia dialah penyeri
Di syurga menanti dia bidadari
Kekasih sejati teman yang berbudi
Kasihnya bukan keterpaksaan
Bukan jua kerana dunia
Mekar hidup ini disiram Nur Kasih
...disirami Nur Kasih

someone needs to help me. i cannot seem to stop eating. and my roomate, reem, cannot seem to keep down everything she eats. how ironic is that? seems to me i am doing the eating for both of us. bleh.

i am trying to make changes to this blog. hopefully my efforts pay off. like i said, i am still trying to find out all the things i can do with this thing.

i miss niha and azie so very much. i have not seen both of them since i left ktt last two years. has it really been two years? i can still remember us walking by the beach, azie and i went swimming under the watchful eyes of our "protective" seniors, myself screaming for "anak cik omar" outside of niha's room and the small party that we had after azie left lest we started crying again from missing her. we were close lots then. ain, azie, azza, kak ipah, niha, tim and myself. the time i spent at the matriculation college will always be cherished.

i am in a very good mood today. finally got to talk to anand, i could not called him because i lost his number. somehow, talking to him always soothes me. he seems never to run out of funny stories and my, not to mention his list of complaints that runs from 'stupid jpa never gives the stupid allowance on time' to 'dining hall food sucks'. i am not trying to make fun of him, he is adorable just the way he is. i guess it is fair enough to say that he is one of my closest friends here. i do not have that many friends on boston, so i value my friends very much.

since i did not do any work at all for the past two days, i decided that i might as well not do any for the rest of the weekend. oh, i will have to pay for it later, most definitely, but what the heck. i always do what i feel like doing anyway. impulsive, that's me too. i just went to troy last friday and came back to boston with friends on saturday. huma nearly strangled me for doing that, i forgot all about the msa welcome dinner we were supposed to go to. i had been looking forward to it, but i cannot say that i regret going to troy. it was fun to see fizah and nad again. nad has changed, but hey, do we all not? and i am glad i got the chance to really talk to fizah. she really is a friend true and true. i miss a lot of my friends right now - azie, rom, tet, niha, haniif, to name a few. i should have called them ages ago. hopefully i will get a chance to do all things i am supposed to do before the semester is over.

ooh la la... i am done for the week. next week is another whole different story though. hopefully this weekend i will get a lot of work done. i need to be like huma and reem, study for at least 5 hours on saturdays and sundays. i am thinking of making brown and brew my study port, but then the campus center is not bad at all. one thing that sucks about studying at places other than your own room is that you have to get there early to reserve a good spot. cannot wait until sunday, we are having a picnic at naticks. and i am going to sleep over at kak zu's on saturday. that means real food man.

lets see if i can get my shixeo here

somehow, thinking of the charles also makes me think of pantai lido in johor. guess because if you go to both places at night you can see couples talking a walk hand in hand or sitting on the benches whispering sweet nothings. gamelan class did the trick. i felt much better, all because i managed to play kinanthi pawukir on bonang quite well. hopefully i will master playing bonang this year.

what else can go wrong??? today has not been a good day for me. since the moment i open my eyes, things have been going wrong. first, i woke up to the sound of my roomate arguing with her mom. next thing, my colleague called me to let me know that she could not open the file to the fliers that she was supposed to print out last night. my computer uses different applications from the ones in the lab, she was supposed to let me know last night if there are problems. i tried to go out early today so i could help her out at the lab, but then i realized that it was raining. seemed that my umbrella chosed today of all day to not function. i had to wait until huma finished shower and borrowed her umbrella. then muz called to tell me how really to fill the gnomon copy form and the msa code and the subcode for the general interest meeting. i almost yelled at him, but then it was not totally his fault. next thing i knew, afsan sent an email asking about daily ads for the meeting. how come no one mentioned that before???? thank goodness she was all ready to make a copy to send to the daily incase the prs were not ( which of course, taiwo and i were not ). i met taiwo at the campus center and we encountered several more problems before we managed to print out a copy of the flier. i left everything with her, and went to class. by this time, i was also mercifully drenched by the rain. of course, i ended up being 15 minutes late to class and i could tell prof alwan was not very pleased. recitation was ok though, the ta showed us how to do the problem set. that was a bit helpful. i grabbed coffee and french fries at the common just to boost my spirit. seemed to work when i sat down to copy homework from the textbook in the bookstore. i rushed home to get some rest before i go to my gamelan class. just as i was about to take a nap, i realized that today is the last day to register the phone. i could not do it over the phone, so i had to go on the internet. and here i am now, writing all about the jolly events of my day. class starts in about 26 minutes, so i best get going. hopefully this evening will be better than the day.

always, always, always wear sneakers when you are lifting or moving anything heavy. lets just say i learnt the lesson the hard way. we were trying to assemble a bed when the head fell on my foot. and jeez, did it hurt. i am going to have one heck of a bruise tomorrow. if i am lucky, that may be all i am going to have.

i miss going to silat. really, it has been a very long time since i last practise my moves. i know i should have at least try to work on them every two weeks or so, but it is no fun practising them myself. i need a partner. anyone?

i do not feel like sleeping, might as well find out what more i can do with this thing.

or is this a false sense of security?

(to the sound of red hot chilli peppers' under the bridge)

one of the most romantic things to do for me would be walking along the charles during a full moon night with the special someone you are in love with.

sitting here at my desk tonight, i have the strangest thought that i do not want to leave this city. i was thinking about how much i want my friends to come visit me here in this old city, how much i envy them for being among friends they know, when i realize that i do not regret coming here at all. when i could have chosen to go to other school where i know my friends are going too, i chose to come here and study among strangers. and now i feel that i have established my own circle of friends, i am beginning to think about coming home to boston every time i leave the city, i feel comfortable chilling in my room and i do not feel like i have to talk to someone from home every other day. boston is a beautiful city, and i have just come to realize that i have been falling in love with it since the moment i stepped out of the plane a little more than a year ago. everytime i pass by the charles river, i'm trasfixed with awe by the reflections of the moon and the beautiful city with its skyscrapers in the softly rippling water. all i can think of then is, subhanallah, Allah is the most magnificent. i'm beginning to feel comfortable being among other folks in the city, walking anonimously among the fast moving crowd, smiling at those who happen to be staring at the unfamiliar sight of my wearing head scarf and stooping to ruffle the hair of children being taken out for a walk.