Ximar

i am so tired, i just wanna curl up on my bed and go to sleep. the snow didn't last long this morning. gamelan concert went as usual ( meaning i messed up on at least one piece ). i didn't go to buka puasa at the islamic center, but i heard it went well. i can't believe whoever took the food from here to the islamic center left behind the chili sauce that i made. what's nasi ayam without sos? duh. last night we did something pretty stupid. went off to castle island. we didn't even think about it being november, obviously it would be freezing by the beach, so none of us were wearing thick enough jacket to ward off the cold. none of us, but usman. that guy remembered to save his own hide but didn't have the decency to at least remind us to do the same. haiyaa... what la usman.

woohooooooooo... the grinch has forgotten to steal the christmas spirit. it's snowing!!! how are we gonna move the gamelan instruments now?

shaharris

ermm... i don't know if anyone might be interested in getting to know the other half of malaysian malay population at tufts, but yup, that's him ( if you manage to catch him ). oops, i forgot. copy the url and open it in your media player.

thongs, tampons and weapons of mass destruction - most disgusting and nastiest things men ever created. we had telefund night for the icc project tonight. unfortunately, things didn't go as smoothly as we had hoped for. out of the hundred fifty names that we have on our list, only about forty have their phone numbers listed. and out of those forty, ninety nine percent are old numbers. we ended staying at the telefund office for only an hour rather than three hours as we had imagined. well, there are two more telefund session in schedule, hopefully these two will proof to be more productive.

the only persons i talk to using saya-awak are my cousins and my aunts and uncles. with my siblings we usually use orang-dia. i hate it when my brother resorts to aku-kau when he gets angry, coz i never do that and i don't see the reason why he should. being angry is bad enough, does he have to be rude too? i rarely get angry, but i get exasperated with my parents and younger siblings easily. with other people i get upset not angry, but i get it out of my system fairly quickly. it's better to get upset by what a person has done, not with the person him/herself. that way, it's easier to remember that everyone has flaws and is prone to mistakes. and again, try to always remember to look at yourself first for faults instead of at other people.

afsan and reem are choreographing one of the dances for the tasa cultural show. they've convinced me to come to the practises, but will see if i decide to perform or not. i'm definitely looking forward to join in the fun.

i never minded people asking me my age, until now. i feel awkward telling people my age because i feel like it makes me look stupid ( my age, i mean ). around me, friends who are twenty three are already in their second year at grad school. and to think that at the same age i'll only be graduating with my first degree is... unbearable, and a bit depressing. so i now resort to not revealing my age to people who don't know it. but friends ( or acquaintances ) always assume that i'm a year or two younger than i really am, because i always act childishly. however, people i've just met ( or strangers ) always think i'm older than i really am because i look so. unless if they have only been talking to me over the phone, then they'll think i'm nine years old. whatever, but i'm not telling people my age anymore. just called home and spent almost two hours talking to my parents, abe yie and the two little ones. last year i ended up spending almost four hundred bucks on phone cards, and i've a feeling this year it's gonna be more. and to think how i used to wonder how chali spent hundreds calling home. it's so easy to without realizing it.

have i told everyone lately how much i love boston? *grin* i love boston - the view, the river, the skyscrapers - everything BUT the drivers, who are maniacs for all i'm concerned. tons of work to do before thanksgiving break. finally met my advisor and got off the bursar hold, so i should be able to register tomorrow. guess i'm not gonna do intro to ir yet after all, prof jenke thinks it's better for me to wait till prof mufti's teaching it and prof johnson thinks i should take the sophmore seminar first to get used to the workload. gulp. well, i'm gonna listen to the experts, hopefully my life won't be so messed up. i only wish i have the time to do EPIIC and the study abroad thing. wishful thinking yaar, i'm not gonna have time to do everything, but i sure would like to try. feel like it's been ages since i last called home, i miss talking to my big brother. my other brother, the one in mmu, hurt his back while playing football. seems kinda serious from what he told me, but he doesn't want my parents to know. but of course, being the big sister, what else can i do but tell my parents. he's gonna give me hell when he catches up with me. not that i'm not used to it. usman wants to leave on tuesday afternoon to go to tooba's place but i'm a bit hesitant to skip intermediate micro class. i already did today, to take care of ordering food for buka puasa, and it made me feel guilty enough to not do it again soon. we'll see though, coz i don't really want the guys to drive all night either. and i've yet to find a place to stay in michigan. hopefully there'll be an angel willing to take me in.

dagangnya kita musafir lalu,tiba masanya kembali jua says:
mengapa perlu memendam rasa
dagangnya kita musafir lalu,tiba masanya kembali jua says:
sedang hamba di sana menjeruk rasa

fizah on windows messenger

i've no idea since when she has turned into a poet.

i'm definitely going home next year, insya-Allah, but whether in the summer or winter, i've yet to decide. i'm done with tufts foundation and distribution requirements, and i need three or four more classes for international relations. basically, i can finish by next year. most probably, i'll double major with econs. i wish i can do combined degree, but tufts won't let us do it in four years. pity, pity. i'm still being put on hold, i've yet to see my advisor, i can't find any classes i really wanna take, and i'm supposed to register the day after tomorrow. what a mess. usman's birthday tomorrow, we're going to surprise him with a cake at midnight. this should be fun.

hate being near people who've been drinking, i can't stand their smell.

we went to see harry potter, and it's amazing! it's so not a children movie, people would be surprised how much they'd enjoy the movie if they actually go see it. harry potter and the chamber of secrets is amazing. of course, that harry potter kid wasn't a good actor, but ron weasley was superb, so were dumbledore and lockhart. the weasley's house looked like it came straight out of the book, and so did david lockhart. the phoenix was disappointing though, it looked down right ugly. and that guy who played lucius malfoy didn't really fit the character. man, now i can't wait for the third one to come out.

roxy's friend burnt oil in the kitchen and set off the fire alarm. lord, if it wasn't loud, i don't know what is. i kept my hands over my ears the whole time we waited for the fire department to come and turn off the alarm. they took quite a few minutes to come here, which was surpisingly long since the fire station is only two blocks away. guess they'd known it's not for real. happened all the time.

i had to write the words to the songs down last night because they kept playing in my head and i couldn't go to sleep like that. all in all, today's been a wonderful day. we hold iftar over at muslim unit today, and it turned out to be a success. by the time our last guest went out the door at seven, all the food were gone except the baklavas. no wonder though, coz jihan brought a huge box of them. it must have cost her at least thirty-forty bucks. huma wanted to watch the bubs tonite, and she asked afsan and i to come along. i didn't really wanna go, but i'm glad i did. they are amazing. and entertainig. i had so much fun, and it made feel good. so tonite i can go to bed with a smile on my face. looking forward to tomorrow, gonna watch HARRY POTTER!!!

zindagi ek safar hain suhana
yaha kal kya ho kisne jaana

pyaar hua iqraar hua hai
pyaar se phir kyu daarta hai dil
kehta hai dil rasta mushkil
maalum nahi hai kaha manzil

was talking to my sister about her spm weeks, and i realized how lucky i am that mine was wonderful. we were spoilt rotten by the teachers; many teachers were there when we walked into the exam hall on the first day ( even pn mas! ), pak yem and pn sharifah were around every single day ( pak yem, pn bahayah on a bike was quite a sight ), everyone was willing to take us out for outings ( miss irene and trip to 7-11 the night before we sat for english paper ). we had fun doing every kind of things but studying; watching juara lagu ( i forgot who won, m. nasir or siti ), and la femme nikita ( michael! :P~~ ), and of course the big election ( until the warden came kick us out of dining hall, then on went the radio in B1-13 ), spying on pak yem from B2-1 ( fiqah and me, the die-hard fan, of course ), inline skating in the dorm ( until auntie reminded us that we didn't wanna get killed until spm was over, lest we spoilt our year's result ). we had the bestest of food; outings to buy food for bukak puasa, pn khadijah brought us food every night after terawih, and we still had supper ( we had milk! ), and the sahur, seemed like we never stopped eating after we broke our fast. solat jemaah and baca doa every day at the surau; solat terawih led by our beloved abang is ( ustaz isubarek, duh ), and baca doa 'akashah and kinzil 'arsh together. so much more that we did, so much fun we had. everything was really quite an experience, which i hope everyone cherishes forever. back to my sister. apparently, she remembered how crazy i am over pak yem that she was inspired to write about it for her english paper. now, am i not glad that i was always rattling on about pak yem to her. had i know it'd help her with her spm paper, i'd have make her take notes. after all, i'm always a considerate sister.

i had to reformat my computer this morning, which sucks... but i'm not gonna complain much. i'm lucky enough to have this computer as it is. diah and dewi said yes, so we're going to see harry potter and the chamber of secrets this saturday, yeay!!! we might be doing something fun friday night, since usman's birthday is coming up and we need to take him out somewhere. i'd say karaoke, but it's ramadhan so i guess that's ruled out.

need to work on my microecons grade, i'm falling behind in that class. i also need to see my advisor soon, but not before i see the class dean. i still need to get my language requirement waived, and vida's been telling me for ages to get it done. took a look at the course listing, doesn't seem like we have a lot of interesting classes for spring. i've yet to find a class that i really wanna take, not just to fulfill the requirements. guess i should just repeat intro to int'l relations and calculus and get them done and over with. hate the intro to ir class though. the reading materials they assign us for that class are enough to make us wish we never learn how to read. if only they offer the class in the summer, then i can spend the whole session concentrating on that class only and nothing else. i can stand other political science classes, but that particular one is just... a murderer. i cannot stress out enough how much i hate that class. and the teaching assistants. urggh...

guess i'm staying here after all this winter. three more days to the big day, can't wait. i'm gonna talk diah into watching harry potter with me.

think i've read or heard something that sounds like this somewhere :
when looking for faults, look in the mirror instead of through the telescope
and we've heard again and again :
do and say nothing to others that we don't want to be repeated to us
everything goes in a circle, what goes around comes around. nothing more, nothing less. rules of life are simple, it is us that are complex. why strive to make living harder than necessary?

Nabila dapat 5A dan Nabil 4A 1B(Sains). Aqilah 5A, Afifah, Arif dan Atirah ma tak dok masa nak tanya lagi.

my ma in her email

*note: i don't remember any cousin named arif ( well, there's one but he's already in high school, i doubt he sat for upsr twice ) and i think ma actually meant to write atikah, not atirah ( atirah is afifah's twin but she already sat for upsr last year ).

the wonder of being in a big family is that we get to compete among ourselves. academically that is. well, among other things. appearance as well. i've always been told again and again to try losing some weight. what can i do yaar. it gets to me sometime when everytime i talk to my aunts the very first thing they ask is if i've gained more weight *sigh*

lets see if i remember everyone from my mom's family:
ayah lik & che nab :
(think they have about eight or nine kids and a few grandchildren, i'm not rightly sure)
che yah & ayah yi :
kak ra & abe di : 4 kids, i can't recall their names; kak da & abang an : one daughter, aqilah; hasib; amir
ayah im & che ani ayah im ( now divorced ) : qistina; izni; widad; faris
che ani besar & ayah mad : abe ie; kak ha; yani; aqma
che ani kecik & ayah zid : abe yie; me, myself & i; ngah; kak nik; chik; nabil; nabila; adib; syafiq; najah
che zie & ayah din : izzat; fatin; aiman; aimi; salam
che nun & ayah wi : irfan; amalina; aqilah; afhan; ( )
che ta & ayah si : farah; afifah & atirah; anis; aida
che na & ayah deen : hafiz; amalia
che za & ayah lan : atikah; afikah; shamil; alia; daniel
ayah man & his wife : (five kids, i think)

* ( ) = i can't remember the name

and on my dad's side we have:
ayah mad & mi : kak na & abe fendi : one daughter, asma'; kak pah; kak nor; idah; kak su; wan; mimi
ayah ngah & che ngah : abe yie; kakak; ngah; kak nik; chik; nabil; nabila; adib; syafiq; najah
ayah su & che su : hafiz; hafizah; hafizul

reem curled my hair while we were studying in huma's room, but all her efforts went down the drain because i couldn't keep my hands out of my hair and kept straightening the strands *cheeky grin* guess i should've let her just straighten it in the first place. we'll be heading to the islamic center in a few minutes, just waiting for lady huma to finish dressing up. stupid moi, i forgot to drop off the daily ad form for the tcu treasurer to sign. man, muz gonna get me for that. need to call jpa tonight and maybe also call home. it's my sister's birthday and my parents and my brother had just came back from kl.

kak na and abang fendi's first offspring's name is ... nur asma' nadhirah. panggil asma'.

sweet temper indeed. i'm blasting the music on my computer coz i'm so freaking mad. that guy can think whatever he wants, it's not worth a coin to me.

so we had our third iftar. and i'm nimbling on ginger snaps to calm my queasy stomach. dewi threw up outside of muz's house after iftar. at terawih, usman and fatimah threw up. diah stopped by then, and she herself wasn't feeling well. i came back to the muslim house and huma told me she threw up everything she ate earlier. i don't wanna guess how many other people are also throwing up their iftar dinner. hopefully no one will sue the msat.

i hate my mean cousin. my uncle plants pohon buah salak around his house. before i left, i made him promised that he'd save one whole pohon just for me. well, i got a card from my cousin today and she sent me a picture of the pohon salak that they saved for me ( with all the buah salak, of course! ). i'll definitely strangle that girl when i go home. fatin toye. we had our second iftar today and almost thirty people showed up. heheh... free food definitely does the trick. but anyway, glad it was a good turn out. hopefully more and more people will come since we're doing iftars everyday this year. impressive is the word man, this ramadan is definitely, completely different from last year's. noureddine is even coming here every night for tarawih and people actually show up for it. good stuff, alhamdulillah. we went bowling tonight and i was so excited about it. i've only done it once before in the summer and truth be told, i'm no better now that i was before. but it was fun watching the others, especially dewi. she's so good at it, she almost beat usman. she should have, that guy was strutting like a peacock afterwards. i'm finally being put on hold for registration. need to call jpa as soon as possible. i completely forgot about it tonight. my brother is coming home from kuching today, yeay!!!

skiffle.....quiddle.....intamdin.....meebo.....bumbro.....

my sister will turn eleven in a few days. reminds me of my brother when he turned eleven. we were at rumah che kat kampung for hari raya, and my mom gave him a shirt to wear. it had mickey on it. my brother turned red and refused to wear it. my mom asked him why, it's a brand new and well, kinda cute shirt. my brother said that mickeys are for kids, to which my mom reminded him that he is one. to our amusement, my brother then proudly announced that he's no longer a kid, but a teenager. i remember all of us laughing so hard about it. can't blame him, i guess everyone looks forward to being an adult when they're kids. how naive were we then. i've so much to do, but i keep wanting to procrastinate. one thing though, no matter how much work i've to do, i am no longer willing to sacrifice my sleep to get it done. maybe before this year i was, but not now.

i emailed lois last night telling her i won't be coming in to work this morning. little did i know that lois is out today. duh. fortunately i came by the center at ten, and here i am, at work. if i hadn't come, Lord knows what will happen. i'm looking at the pumpkin on my desk and thinking, what happen to all the pumpkins after halloween?

i'm cutting class and feeling terribly guilty about it. after all, it costs about $200 per class. anyway, i might have a plan after all for thanksgiving. diah and usman are planning to visit tooba in michigan, and i might tag along. and it'll be practically free since they'll be driving their own car, more the reason to go na? i don't want to stay here during winter, last year taught me that it could be quite depressing. at first i thought i'll try to find/apply for a wintership but jane said if i want to do that, it's better if i don't get paid. but i need money. lois already told me that i can work at the i-center over the winter, but then i'll have to stay on campus, which i don't want to. dilemma. main kya karun yaar?

just got back from the ihop. i've been up for twenty two hours and really feel tired. but i just wanna write this entry before i take a short nap before subuh. erm... we went to the northeast conference with the msa-boston and i've to say that it's a really good experience. i think the albany people have done a really good job organizing the event. the speakers were really good and they talked about things so basic, everyone can relate to themselves. can't believe i actually spent the whole day with the icc members. it felt good. amir said he saw different side of me as he never had before. heheh... glad to know i can still manage a few surprises every now and then. right, i'm out.

oh, i forgot. we watched the ring last night instead of the stupid hindi movie ( guess i wasn't a loser after all, diah ;) ) i know they showed the japanese version of it at stf few years ago. no wonder my dormmate wouldn't even talked about it, i feel like the ring is scary enough to give me nightmares, what more the original version. na'a...

i'm supposed to wake up in another three hours. called my sister, but we didn't get to talk long coz she's in a hurry to get food!!! kids... i talked to shon today, and he actually invited me to come with him to canada for thanksgiving. i feel like i want to go, but i doubt i'll have enough time to get a visa. unless if i go down to consulate general office in new york. we got around to talking about student groups on campus, and found out that we are both interested in starting southeast asian ( if not malaysian ) students association. diah told me they had one few years back, but it didn't work out. at least now i know shon and i can help each other out if we decide to go for it, which we most probably will. can one abbreviate 'something'? doesn't 'sth' work? just wondering... huma and i went shopping and we saw a baby got her ears pierced. she's a brave one, not even two months old and she only cried for about two minutes. girl power! i need to sleep. buenas noches.

i've been laughing like crazy tonite. dan came to work in black leather skirt and netted blouse with his black bra showing. oh, and purple hose too. and he couldn't zip up the skirt so his green boxer was showing. outrageous. everyone who came up to the desk was like, "oh, my god"... all the girls were cracking up but all the guys wouldn't even look at him. it was so funny, i couldn't believe dan actually walked into and out of the library, and worked dressed up like that. and he complained to me about the bra, said it was confining. well, all i could say was., "so now you know..." i walked home from work and saw all this people dressed up in wonderful clothes. i was actually having fun just watching the people. oh, and the guys at zeta psi, were having problem turning people away from their party. a police car drew up in front of it just as i was walking by, and it wasn't even midnight yet. oh, and i also saw this girl pulled out her boob and showed it to her friend. she was asking his opinion about something, i guess i got that, but what i didn't get was, in the middle of the street?!?! come on, at least have the decency to do it behind a tree or something. man, all the crazy things people do. now, being a loser i am ( as diah said ) i'm gonna spend the night watching a hindi movie before i go to bed. night.

written to the sound of aventura's no es amor.

my economics classes are getting more and more interesting. guess i just have to find the right teachers. i think if people take social psychology before they do economics, it helps tremendously. at least in my case, i'm glad i took social psych early last year coz i have just realized how much it helps with my other classes. i feel so tired but i couldn't find anyone to cover for me, so i guess i've to go to work after all tonight. i feel bad about skipping my hindi class, but i'm just not in the mood for transliteration and translation. my parents are going to visit my sister at her school today, i might be able to talk to her before spm starts. jpa has yet to pay my summer tuition, i'm getting a bit worried. they haven't put a hold on my account yet, and i doubt they will coz i already made arrangement for jpa to be accoutable for everything on my bursar, but one never knows what 's gonna happen. i heard enough stories about parents having to cover thousands of dollars of tuition to make me take precautions.

see how my thoughts jump from one thing to another? things mostly without connection wutsoever with each other. no wonder i always have problem writing essays and studying. my essays don't have flows and i can't focus long enough to study without a break every hour.