Ximar

I just read D's blog, and I couldn't resist. She mentioned Garden State, and I forgot I have a few things to say about that.

So last Saturday, D, D, Big U and I went to see Garden State down in Boston Common. To my surprise, I found it quite an interesting and enjoyable movie. Started off pretty slow, but once the story's established, it'll suck you right into it.

There were two things that got stuck in my mind from that movie.

Number one:
Sam: "This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing."

The weird noises, of course. I guess it's not so weird after all, since other people apparently do it too. I do a lot of weird noises, but only around people I'm really comfortable with. The same thing with touching. People think I'm really not the kind of person to show my affections, but when I'm really comfortable with people, I can't keep my hands off them :P Kidding, but I don't have problems hugging and touching people I really feel comfortable with.

Number Two:
Andrew: "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone."

Sam: "I still feel at home in my house."

Andrew: "You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

It's kinda true, isn't it? Once you leave, things are never the same. Your home changes, your family changes. When my youngest sister was born, for the longest time, it didn't feel like she's part of the family to me. I watched all my other siblings grew up, but I was away when she did her growing up. I can't recall her as a baby, or as a toddler. No image would come to mind. I can't tell any stories about her as a little kid. It had really upset me, but gradually, I began to get to know her. And now, she's definitely part of the family, but the home I left I haven't found yet.

Lastly:
I thought the best line in the movie was:
Andrew: "Can you imagine being the guy whose job it is to argue for the right to build a mall on top of a geological phenomenon? "

Mark: "They love their malls here, man."

I thought Big H can agree with that, hehehe....
Anyways, check out the movie, it's pretty cool, and if you pay attention, it's a lot of stuff you can relate to as a messed up human being. Plus, it has some really good songs.

The cell's officially dead, so please don't "hit the cell" if you want to reach me.
I had to download an MP3 alarm clock so I can wake up every morning. The song I wake up to: Your Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer. Anyone have better song suggestion, let me know.

I'm chatting with Neel, I should be working really. My homework's due tomorrow, and I haven't had a chance to finish it because Rafeya was using the computer earlier. Which reminds me, tomorrow's class is in Eaton, don't forget that.

I miss my housemates from last year. They were really great, fun people to live with. We had our shares of dramas and what not, but on the whole, it was a good year. I was really looking forward to this year, to make a little difference in the house. But I don't know, I'm not so sure if I can really pull it through. I'm not gonna stop trying though. Granted, it'll be a slow process, but a progress nonetheless.

A lot of things are coming up and need to be figured out. Although my sleeping habit has improved a lot, my time management hasn't. Keep working on it, kid.

Usually I turn everything off before going to bed because I can't fall asleep if there's any light or sound. Now that I have to keep the computer on every night, I realize how much noise the computer actually makes.

I dropped my phone in the toilet.

That's one of the prints on t-shirts that they sold at ISNA. Kinda funny, I thought.

The dinner was really good. It wasn't a crowd that we'd usually have, and everybody talked. It was good, we even underestimated the turn-out.

Played poker, Amir almost won. He probably could have won against Shaq, but it was running late, and he really wanted to end the game. For Rafeya, it was her first poker game, and she managed quite well. I was out second after Diah. I like playing poker :)

Hopefully I can call home tomorrow, if I wake up early enough. I would call now, but I'm gonna get an earful from my parents for not sleeping yet.

I sent some money to my sister at home. Actually, it's kinda creepy. It was literally money in minutes. I sent it, called in to confirm the transfer, and a few minutes later, she could pick it up from an agent at home. How crazy is that? Of course it is really convenient, but still... (btw, my sister sent me an e-mail to let me know she received the money, and it was signed "with love". She never signed her e-mails "with love" before. Money works wonders, man, even with blood *wink*)

Ever heard that the first black man in space was Darth Vader?

MSA dinner in half an hour, I so don't feel like going. Heck, I'm not even dressed yet. I've never been to one anyways, and I really don't plan to start now, but I feel obligated. Seriously, I don't want to go :(

I've been complaining how bored I was, how I didn't have much to do. And boink! Today, everything just piled up right in front of my eyes *sigh* Guess the peaceful time is over. Time to start staying on top of my shit now.

Can't go to NY, no more space for me.

The Truth That Lies Inside - one of Dawud Wharnsby's new song. It's pretty good.

Woke up at 8 today. Maybe tomorrow I can wake up at 7. I go to bed early nowadays. The only problem is I don't really sleep well. I wake up 2-3 times each night. It's really annoying, since it always takes me a while to fall back asleep.

Done homework, only have reading assignments for next week's class. I'm thinking I might actually go to NYC early next week. If Shi Ling says there's a space, then I'm gonna go.

Scheduling room for the Bukhari Institute hasn't been smooth. I do hope Audra will get back to me asap, I don't like doing things last minute when it involves other people.

My application was approved by the Zipcar. The reason I got it is so I can go to the grocery store every few weeks. I've been depending a lot on Diah and Usman, and I don't want to bother them that much any more. Seriously, the only times when I'd call these guys is when I need a favour. It must be pretty annoying to them.

I have to call home. I've been thinking about my brothers a lot. Talked to my sister a couple of times, I actually called her. She seems to be having fun in college. She's in a diving club, and she doesn't even know how to swim! I asked the guy at the student activities fair, and he said I'd have to know how to swim to join the diving club here. Darn!

Have to get my S400 fixed.

Zaid organized the first Qur'an halaqah today. I intend to go to more sessions this semester so I can keep reminding myself to be a full time Muslim.

Sunday, got a wake up call from Diah at 9 in the morning. That was way too early for me. Went to Chinatown to have brunch at a dim sum place with their parents. Usman and I got there around 10:40 and the place was already crawling with people. Don't people sleep late anymore? Oh, wait. Maybe they went to mass and then stopped by for brunch. That'd make sense.

Anyways, today, Rafeya and I got up at 8 to go grocery shopping with Usman at 9. 8! Tomorrow, I don't have class till 4, so I'm going to sleep all I want all morning, hah! Although grocery shopping this morning was accomplished in record time 30 minutes because we were afraid we'd be late to class. Let me tell you, that was impressive.

An interesting story: Chinese Muslims forge isolated path

Seems like most of the people in the house end up with wet clothes hanging in every corner of their rooms. The dryer in the house is broken, and none of us knew that, so...

I barely slept a wink last night, what with the people partying, fire alarm going off next door, and the thunderous storm.

Went to gamelan class today, I haven't played for almost a year. I miss it. The music makes more sense to me now than it ever did before.

Had out first MSA meeting tonight. I thought it went pretty well, Zaid handled everything very nicely. Hopefully it's a sign that things will go smoothly this year.

If you use up more brain cells, does it make you die quicker?

I took a nap this afternoon, so I'm still wide awake, can't fall asleep.

Diah and Usman already put up their pictures from Chicago. Looking at them was fun, everybody looks really happy in the pictures.

D called last night, talked for about 2 minutes. She hung up when she realized season premier of Everwood were starting. Yup.

Hope Huma's fine, and doing well on her exams.

Was looking at Kak Ezreen's pictures, now I really want to do some travelling. Anybody?

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy

My heart said follow through

But I know now that I'm way down on your line

But the waiting feeling's fine



So don't treat me like a puppet on a string

Because I know how to do my thing

Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb

I wanna know when you're gotta come, you see



I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

'Cause summer is here - and I'm still waiting there

Winter is here - and I'm still waiting there



Like I said -

It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door

And still I can knock some more

Ooh boy, ooh boy - is it crazy look, I wanna know now

For I to knock some more

You see



In life I know that there is lots of grief

But your love is my relief

Tears in my eyes burn

Tears in my eyes burn

While I'm waitin'

While I'm waitin' for my turn

You see



I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love



'Cause summer is here - and I'm still waiting there

Winter is here - and I'm still waiting there



Like I said -

I don't wanna, I don't wanna

I don't wanna, I don't wanna

I don't wanna wait in vain

I don't wanna, I don't wanna

I don't wanna, I don't wanna

I don't wanna wait in vain



It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door

And still I can knock some more

Ooh boy, ooh boy - is it crazy look, I wanna know now



Like I said -

Tears in my eyes burn

Tears in my eyes burn

While I'm waiting

While I'm waiting for my turn

You see

Ooh boy, ooh boy - is it crazy look, I wanna know now

For I to knock some more

In life I know there is lots of grief

But your love is my relief

Saw an abandoned bike next to the dumpster behind the house, so I took the dust cap from one of the valves to replace the one on Diah's bike that I lost. Hopefully it's the right kind.

Mbak Pi got into INSEAD program in France, I'm really happy for her. Their parents are coming tomorrow, I'm sure it'll be really nice for her to celebrate the news with them.

Saw Lynn and Fizah at ISNA, that was nice.

While in Chicago, saw John Cusack at the cafe close to the Buckingham Fountain. I was really excited, but since the guys were there, I had to contain some of those excitement. Otherwise, believe me, I would have been jumping up and down with Diah. He was talking on the phone, taking a break from biking. Our first celebrity sighting, but being nice beings that we are, we didn't bug the guy for pictures or autograph. How thoughtful (or stupid, depends on how you look at it :P)

That day when we went to the beach down in the Cape, we stopped by Yusuke's workplace and he took us for a ride on a 6-seater plane. We missed the sunset, but it was a full moon night, so the view from up there was pretty spectacular. Yusuke managed to get permission to enter Boston, and we flew right over Fenway when the game was going on. Pretty neat. I thought I'd be freaked out flying in such small plane, but it wasn't bad at all. There's so much to see, and I forgot my fears as soon as I started paying attention to the things around us.

So much has happened, not quite sure where to begin. Perhaps where I left off before.

Went to West Dennis Beach down in the Cape, and had tremendous fun. There are some pictures over on the side. In case it's not clear the way I categorize my pictures; album marked "Nabe's" is of places I visited and people I visited them with, or things I did and people I did them with. The one marked "Ximar Photos" has pictures of random things I took and thought interesting.

Olympics over, the men marathon was tainted, poor Lima from Brazil lost his chance at getting gold medal. Men taekwando was a real kicker, that little Korean guy jumped high up in the air and kicked the 6' 7" Greek right on the left temple. Perfect Karate-Kid kinda ending. Brazil's men beach volleyball and their superhero, Marcello. The Russian girls with their amazing performance at synchronized swimming. The closing ceremony, fireworks and red lanterns. Those were pretty cool.

August was the month of independent days. Alas, I remembered everyone else's but my own. 31st August was just a blur, I forgot.

Chicago trip. Chicago's such a beautiful city. Came back with tons of pictures and memories. Walked around a lot; Millennium Park, Magnificent Mile, Sears Tower, Devon Ave., Navy Pier, Chinatown. Had a grand time.

ISNA conference. Had very high expectations, was a little bit disappointed with the overall organization. The MSA conference was fine, it's the ISNA part that I had problem with. They had some really good speakers though, and it's good that they reminded me many things.

Huma and Muz. It was definitely nice seeing them again. I miss them.

Back in MU and am the house manager. Had our first meeting tonight. Trying to figure out how to break the ice between some of the people. It's weird being here without the regular people. It's weird being on campus as senior. It's weird being the "oldest in the family". It's weird not having someone to turn to and ask for advice. Well, that's not entirely true, I still have Diah, Mbak Pi and Usman. But it's still weird not having Huma and Muz around. And I miss Neel, Zaid and their friends being in the house. I miss the noise, I miss the "Nik, I'm coming up!" and the sound of someone running down the stairs. The house is too quite. I'm not lonely, but I feel alone. I'm not alone though, been hanging out a lot with R and R. Stacy called tonight to ask me to come in 'coz no one showed up for the closing shift. There was a new girl there and she introduce me as "This is Nik and she knows everything about the Media Center". That's weird. Jen used to be that person. I feel weird. These people left, and I'm filling in their shoes. But I don't want to be them, I want to be me. At the same time, I had learned from them, I don't know how to do certain things but the way the people before me had done them. I feel this is wrong. I don't know, I'm not making much sense, not even to myself. This is going to take some time getting used to.

I miss D and D. I really felt at home living with them these past 3 months. Can't believe summer is over. One more year to go and who knows what's going to happen between now and then. Hopefully something good.