life at home is so much simpler. at least that's how i feel. listening to and reading about people i know at home, makes me feel weird. i feel like we're living in two different world. their worries seem to be totally different from mine. to some extent i guess i have to agree with usman, i don't know why i came here in the first place when there are other places so much better for me to be at other than this land. but then again, i'm not sure i was strong enough then (heck, forget about then. even NOW i'm still not sure!) to think only about the hereafter world and not the worldly world. reading liyana's blog made me realize that i came here for the exact opposite reason she decided to stay home. she stayed because she's not sure her faith is strong enough to handle trials abroad and i came because i'm not sure i i would have financially survived through college. simply put, she wants the best for the hereafter and i want the best for now. i'm confused. i'm one really, confused, soul. it doesn't make sense. why'd i come here? i spend almost every second worrying about:
-the weather
-what to wear
-adjusting my daily activities to the prayer times
-my safety (i got shouted at even in front of my house, what more can i say?)
-who i befriend (anyone who drinks is a big NO-NO)
-words that come out of my mouth
-explaining myself
-what and where i eat
-things that happen at home
-school
among other things. that doesn't seem right. i don't know what i'm supposed to do anymore.