Matthew Dysart's "The Real Catastrophic Defect"
I think Matt Dysart makes a very good argument in his Viewpoint article. I find myself nodding while reading through it, somehow he has managed to put things that I think about, but find hard to express, in clear words.
I have conflicting views on abortion myself. I can understand the argument that it is similar to killing, or murder, but what if the pregnancy is a threat to the mother's life or health and the fate of the baby (whether it'll live or not) is yet unknown? But then you want to remember that women have been giving birth since the beginning of humanity, and if anything, pregnancy was more dangerous then than it is now. I think it is not wrong to say that every pregancy until about, what, a 100 years ago (?), was a threat to every woman's life. And if our foremothers had decided to have abortion, for even quarter of the times they were pregnant, how many of us wouldn't be here today?
I find it hard to agree with the argument that a woman should be given a choice over what's happening to her body. A child is not something that just happens (with the exception of Siti Mariam, of course). You don't get to choose whose womb you are born to, but you definitely get to choose who to sleep with and if that's the case, you should be ready to accept the consequences. Please don't use the term "unwanted" or "unintended pregnancy". I find it extremely insulting, not to mention misleading. Abstinence is the way to go, not abortion. A child is a gift, whether you deserve it or not.
What about pregancy that resulted from rape? There is such a thing called emergency contraception to prevent pregancy, and is usually administered immediately to rape victims, as long as they come forward and ask for help in time. If a woman becomes pregnant after a sexual assault, what should she do? I can always say that she should not hold it against the child, that it is her child after all, regardless of the XY part in it. It is certainly easy to say, but it's not always easy to be noble is it? I can say a lot of things right now but I can't imagine what I myself will do if I find myself in the situation (God forbid).
Another thing that I can't imagine; how can you bring yourself to do it if you already know that you're pregnant? Once you know you should be able to notice the differences in your body. It need not be big changes that other people will also notice. Just the small, initial changes that only you can feel happening inside of you. The thing that tells you there's a life growing inside you, that ties you with the child you're carrying, that creates the special bond between a mother and her child. How do you ignore it and decide to get rid of it?
I wonder what happens after an abortion? Do you remember the child or do you just close the chapter and move on? My mother has lost two children, a daughter born prematurely who died after 2 weeks, and an early trimester miscarriage. Even though she has 10 other children, I know she still remembers and prays for the children she has lost. To the rest of us, they're just what might have been, but never were. But to her, they have created their own identities for the short time they shared her body. She knew them as others never did and will never do. I hope it's the same with the women who (have to) choose abortion over motherhood, that they will continue to cherish the memory of the children they have lost.